The Democrats finally have what they need to begin impeachment proceedings on President Trump: VanillaGate 2017!
2017 has been a year to remember. Ever since President Trump was elected the media has covered the White House to a level never seen before. Now this present day scandal. It is time to discuss this scandal in the full detail that it deserves.
In a recent Time Magazine article titled “Trump After Hours,” Time reporters were given an exclusive interview lasting over an hour and a half. Halfway through the article, while describing a four course dinner the reporters participated in, the tone turns to that of a whiny middle child who throws a tantrum when his big sister is given more ice cream.
“The waiters know well Trump’s personal preferences. As he settles down, they bring him a Diet Coke, while the rest of us are served water, with the Vice President sitting at one end of the table. With the salad course, Trump is served what appears to be Thousand Island dressing instead of the creamy vinaigrette for his guests. When the chicken arrives, he is the only one given an extra dish of sauce. At the dessert course, he gets two scoops of vanilla ice cream with his chocolate cream pie, instead of the single scoop for everyone else. The tastes of Pence are also tended to. Instead of the pie, he gets a fruit plate.”
But wait, there is more to report.
Not only were these reporters abused by a lack of ice cream equality, there were other alleged harms. At one point they discuss how much sauce the POTUS is served with his meal opposed to the reporters and HE even gets a different dressing with his salad. Oh the horror! Seems these reporters got one too many participation ribbons in their lifetimes.
Several news outlets jumped on the meal with, well, relish.
CNN immediately put out a story with the title, “Trump gets 2 scoops, everyone else gets 1–and other top lines from his Time interview.” This was literally the title of the CNN article.
Slow news day CNN? No Russia news to report yet? Nothing on a possible nuclear war with North Korea CNN? Maybe they were tired of reporting on ISIS and the Middle East. Immigration? That is so seven minutes ago. After all, he got more ice cream than anyone else!!
CNN even did an on air piece about the meal. Save your data, it is not worth watching.
This is discrimination!
This faux pas will make the infamous “Ketchup on steak scandal” a thing of the past.
Business Insider, a news site that describes itself as “the largest business news site on the web” reported a similar article with a similar headline.
VanillaGate has far reaching consequences.
As Business Insider so astutely noted, Vanilla gate is apparently a business issue. Maybe the POTUS is trying to secretly influence ice cream prices on the stock market. Sounds like insider trading to me. Scandal!
Other sinister implications.
Was Trump using ice cream as a sneaky subliminal message to these reporters? Is he telling them he will take ALL the ice cream next time if they do not straighten up? Inquiring minds want to know!
This makes the Iran/Contra Scandal, Watergate, and 9/11 child’s play.
What you can do to fight back.
Darn it, we all should have equal ice cream rights! I will be arranging a Million Cone March on Washington D.C. this summer. We will crochet ice cream scoop hats to wear and dress up as ice cream cones to demonstrate our disgust and promote world wide ice cream equality. There will be a vegan option of course to include or animal loving and/or lactose intolerant brothers and sisters.
Our motto will be, “You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream!”
After all, with no other news in the entire world to report, it is important “journalists” focus on who gets the most dessert.
These “journalists” had the opportunity of a life time, to sit down and eat with the POTUS. In their entire article, this one paragraph will stand out in infamy…or at least for this week.
Maybe next time a journalist has an opportunity to eat with the POTUS they will find something a little more important to whine about than who got the most ice cream.