A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.
Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Q: What do ghosts eat for supper?
Q: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The barmaid came over to take their orders. “And what would you, er, gentlemen like tonight?”
The first vampire said, “I’ll have a mug of blood.” The second vampire said, “I’ll have a mug of blood.” The third vampire shook his head at his companions and said, “I’ll have a glass of plasma.”
The barmaid wrote down each order, went to the bar and called to the bartender, “Two bloods and a blood light”.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have any guts!
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.
Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating:
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have a kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, “Great Keith Richard’s mask!” and you’re not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or …” and can’t remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives/ex-husbands live.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no BODY to go with.
Q: What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
A: “Trike or Treat”?
Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.