FEMALE NINJAS Assassinate Kim Jong Un’s Portly, Playboy Brother

Kim Jong Un

Think you have annoying family members? Just remember, it could always be worse. Kim Jong Un could be your brother.

The North Korean dictator’s Christmas card list is a bit shorter today, after his half-brother Kim Jong-nam was assassinated in Malaysia the day before Valentine’s Day. Wait – there’s more! The assassination was carried by two women who disappeared after the incident with the stealth of two attractive ninjas.

North Korea’s state media will likely insist that the “Supreme Leader” had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ASSASSINATION. Never mind the fact that Jong-nam had been living in exile and his brother wanted him dead. Never mind that Jong Un has a habit of killing family members and people he doesn’t like. It is pure coincidence that Jong-nam died a victim of senseless female ninja violence.

The New York Post reports.

Portly playboy Kim Jong-nam, 45, was waiting for a flight to Macau, China, in Kuala Lumpur airport Monday morning when the two women made a beeline for him and sprayed him in the face with the noxious liquid, The Telegraph said Tuesday.

Jong-nam “felt like someone grabbed or held his face from behind. He felt dizzy, so he asked for help” at an information desk,” Malaysian police official Fadzil Ahmat told Reuters.

Jong-nam, who was the oldest son of former North Korean dictator Kim Jong il, was taken by ambulance to an airport clinic.

Due to his fast deteriorating condition, Jong-nam was rushed to nearby Putrajaya Hospital, where he was pronounced dead on arrival, The Telegraph said.

The female ninja assassins have yet to be identified or arrested.

What do you think about the death of Kim Jong Un’s half brother? Did female ninjas do it? Let us know in the comments!

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